Me: "Where did you get that Harry Potter scarf?"
Mike: "The Dollar Tree."
Me: "Oh. It's...nice."
Me: "Wait, let me take your picture." [grabs camera]
Me: "No, don't smile. Act like a character from Harry Potter."
Mike: "You mean like a disgruntled teenager?"
Oh, and I love it when Mike's hair gets to this wacky, Gene Wilder-esque state. It kills me.
Usually I only get to crack one or two candy-man jokes before he runs off to the barber shop.
Me: "Max, you wanna play with some stuff from Mommy's store?:
Max: "The candy necklaces?!"
Me: "No, th.."
Max: "The cupcake mints?!"
Me: "Um, no, I...
Max: "The candy cigarettes? the sprinkles?? the bubble gu.."
Me: "Here, just put this on and go look in the mirror."
Max: [from the bathroom] "Hey, you made me into Santa!"
Me: "Not really. More like Samuel Clemens, if you ask me."
Max: "Who's that?"
Me: "Never mind."